Chair Stories
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| Ippolit Vorobyaninov (further referred to by his nickname Kisa), was a nobleman from an affluent Russian family. All the family property was confiscated during October Revolution. However, while on her death bed, Kisa's mother-in-law told him that she had hidden some family jewels in one of the twelve chairs from their dining room set. With the help of his new friend Ostap, enlisted for a percentage of the future proceeds, Kisa started the search of the family treasures.
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| Story of the Chair #1
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| The first chair was sent to a nursing home, but was promptly stolen by one the numerous relatives of the chief of this home and sold to the priest, Father Fedor. Kisa ran into the priest on the street while Father was carrying the chair. Kisa tried to wrestle the chair away from Father Fedor and while both were trying to hold on to the chair, a kicking match ensued. During this soccer-style combat, the upholstery of the chair was broken and both realized that the chair devoid of the coveted jewels.
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| Story of the Chair #2
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| The second chair had been discovered at the apartment of Madam Gritsatsueva, an inconsoleable widow. Ostap realized that the easiest way to gain the chair would be to marry Madam Gritsatsueva who joyously accepted his proposal. After a cheerful wedding, the young married couple retreated to their bedroom. In the morning, the bride found her lawful husband gone. She never saw her beloved husband nor her favorite chair. Her golden tea strainer was also gone. Unfortunately for Kisa and Ostap, the second chair was also empty.
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| Story of the Chair #3
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| The third chair had been found at the apartment of a young cutie, Ellochka. She spoke with a limited vocabulary of voge expressions yet yearned to be at the apex of the fashion world. Ostap instantly understood whom he was dealing with and overwhelmed her with profuse compliments and demonstration of a lavish golden tea strainer. He explained that the strained was the most popular and fashionable item in the best houses of Philadelphia. Ellochka was happy to exchange the chair for the golden tea strainer, but the third chair was empty too.
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| Story of the Chair #4
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| Following Ellochka's lead, Ostap went to retreive the forth chair to the apartment of her former husband, Mr. Schukin. Ostap surprised him in a compromising position: Schukin was standing naked at the top of the stairwell, covered with nothing but soapsuds. He had been taking a bath and when the water stopped running, he stepped outside looking for help . While calling for the janitor, he slipped and accidentally released the door, which closed and locked. Ostap quickly opened the door with his pinky nail. Schukin was elated and, to show gratitude for the rescue, presented him with the much-desired chair. It too, was empty.
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| Story of the Chair #5
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| The remaining chairs were sold at an auction. Due to Kisa's fault, our heroes were thrown out from the auction. Ostap, however, hired a few homeless kids to locate the deliveries. Mr. Iznurenkov, a comedy writer, bought one of the chairs. Mr. Inznurenkov was not particularly concerned with mundane affairs and missed a few payments for his rental piano, which resulted in a lean against his furniture. Although Ostap showed up in his apartment without a plan, he was able to assess the situation and pretended to be an official who had come to confiscate his furniture. After a short "cannot - can too" argument, he left with the chair. It didn't take him long to find out that it wasn't the right chair anyway.
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